Wednesday 12 May 2010

Dear Diary,

An old friend said this to me once, "You cannot please everyone." Those words were uttered a long time ago, but they stay with me till this day.

When I was much younger, I tried hard to please everyone. Coming from a big family, that was not an easy thing to do. But I craved for words of approval, so I tried to please them the only way I knew how: by excelling in my studies.

That was a long time. Since then, I've learnt that it's impossible to please everyone. And indeed, our utmost priority is to please our Creator. So I stopped trying, and started being myself, warts and all.

But that's not to say that I don't care for others' feelings at all. I do, and I still try to help when close ones ask for favours. But I usually do it on my own terms. Sometimes it's not easy though. Especially for married couples, they have two sets of families with different views and needs. And sometimes these needs clash.

The other day, someone asked for a favour, but I couldn't grant it. I do feel guilty and sorry that I was unable to help. I questioned myself, "Am I being selfish? What if I were in their shoes? Who would I turn to?"

But then I reminded myself, I cannot expect to be able to help whenever asked to. Noone should expect that. There would be times when I have to make certain decisions that seem selfish to others. And this is one of them. It won't be the last either..

I hope the other person understands this and won't hold it against me.

Today I encountered a similar request from another person. This kind of request makes me feel helpless sometimes. It makes me feel like I'm not in control of my life. I wish I don't have to spell out my constraints, because it really doesn't feel good to do so. It makes me feel like I'm mengungkit-ungkit (keep reminding others) of my good deeds. My inner voice started questioning, "Why can't people understand my situation? Why do I have to explain facts that are already known?"

Fortunately the situation resolved itself without me having to do anything. But I know, I will encounter this kind of situation again in the future. Oh Allah, please help me to do the right thing.

12 comments:

Nida said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ummu Auni said...

it's not easy to please everyone. sayidina umar pernah dipersoalkan tentang keputusan dia buat, lepas tu dia tanya balik pada orang tu, kalau engkau berada di tempat aku, adakah engkau akan mencari keredhaan Allah/keredhaan manusia?

Nida said...

Maksu..dah tulis panjang lebar comment, pastu rasa macam membuka pekung di dada pulok, Ida deletela comment tu..hihi. True mmg susah nak please e'body, yg penting Allah swt knows our intention bukan nak menyakitkan hati mana2 pihak tapi kita pun ada our priorities jugak.

qalamunir said...

Dok tertanya2 apa ke benda nye tu?

Yasmin's Mummy said...

UAA: Thanks for putting it in perspective. Sedangkan Sahabat Nabi pun tak boleh please everyone, apatah lagi kita ni.

Nida: Kadang2 tanpa sengaja end up menyakitkan hati org. Perhaps I should learn to communicate better.

IWA: Tak perlu lah tau apa kebendanya. p/s: don't worry, tak kena mengena dgn awak :)

Ibu WA Alim said...

Currious jugak, and risau jugak..

Tp memandangkan semuanye dah dewasa, dan dah tau hidup itu mmg sedemikian so kena adaptlah..

Bkn taknak ambil pusing/peduli/kesah..

Nida said...

Maksu..betul, Ida pun sebenarnya masalah PR. Certain situation Ida x leh/pandai nak explain. I thought it's perkara biasa sbb setengah people mempunyai perspective yg positive then they judge my action in positive way. Tapi ada sesetengah yg berperspective negative, menyebabkan tersilap sangka terhadap my action.. adusss. True la Maksu, Ida pun kena improve my PR with people.. Ida ni sebenarnyo jenis malas nok kecek banyok.

Hcy..jgn susah hati, tak berkait dgn Hcy atau sesiapa pun dalam family kita. Tok soh mikir n tok soh risaula. ;)

Yasmin's Mummy said...

IWA: Tak perlu risau. Tulisan di sini sekadar luahan perasaan. Bukan expect pertolongan. Rasa lega bila dpt meluahkan isihati dan dapat komen2 membina from my loyal readers :)

Nida: Dlm banyak2 masalah perhubungan, selalunya yg jadi penyebab adalah communication. Maksu lemah sikit bab ni. Bila kena jentik sikit, cepat nak jjettak. Then end up saying/doing things that I regret later.

Ibu WA Alim said...

'doing things that i regret later'

..byk..
dan menyakitkan..
rasa mcm nok terpulah tangkai hati..

Tp kdg2/byk masa buat dono je..

Yasmin's Mummy said...

IWA: saya banyak menyakitkan hati awak ke? kalau begitu saya minta maaf. macam ni I really have to learn to control myself.

Ibu WA Alim said...

Yg saya maksudkan tu bkn yg org buat kat saya..tp yg saya buat kat org..

Tp permintaan maaf awak tu saya terima ajelah..

Yasmin's Mummy said...

legaa...