My vote, my right

The first time I voted in the general election, I travelled 500km with an 11 month-old toddler in tow. DH could not join me as he was voting in the Klang Valley. Thank God for AsirAsia, I managed to discharge my responsibility as a Malaysian citizen. I took an overnight trip to my hometown because I had to be back here for work on the next day.

Some may ask, why bother? I was looking forward to exercising my right because my vote could make a difference to the election results. Plus, first time is always an excitement, no? Just remember the birth of your first child, getting your first salary, buying your first car, your wedding day (hopefully that’s the only time), etc. I knew who I wanted to win, so I was determined to do what I can within my limited capacity as an ordinary Malaysian.

Others may ask, why didn’t you vote here? I was registered as a voter in my homestate when I was still single. Back then, I considered myself as a pemastautin there and perantau in KL. My residency here seemed to be only temporary. And then I got married. With a permanent address in KL, I filled out the form to change my voting constituency. 1999 general election came and I was ready to vote but when I checked the SPR records, my voting constituency remained in my homestate. It was too late to book a flight so I missed out on that general election.

Anyway, back to 2004. Landing at the airport in my homestate, I was greeted by a war of bendera-bendera parti of sort. My sister picked me up from the airport and in the car, we started having excited conversations about the election. It was then that I found out that she and other family members were voting for the other party. I was surprised to say the least, because here I was, coming all the way back from KL to vote for the party that I believed in, only to find out that back there, I was on the ‘wrong’ side.

Back at my mother’s house, my sisters and cousins were discussing politics (what else is there to discuss on the day before the big election?). They were excited about the prospect of their candidates and the changes that will be brought about by the candidates. I was the odd-one out, the one from KL who was going to vote for the ‘wrong’ party. Of course they tried to persuade me to support their candidates, but I just smiled and said ‘undi itu rahsia’ (like, how ‘secretive’ was that?)

It was tough, trying to be steadfast for what you believed in, whilst at the same time dipujuk rayu by family members to vote for another. I was in a dilemma. I went back to the village only 3 or 4 times a year, staying not more than three weeks in total, so what right did I have to impose my political belief on those who lived there throughout the year? I felt that they had more right to decide who they wanted to represent the constituency. Afterall, they were going to be the ones living with the consequences of the decisions and actions of the elected candidates. Me? I lived 500 km away, most times oblivious to the woes of the people in my village. At the same time though, I had different perspectives about the qualities that I expected of a leader, I was exposed to different kind of issues in KL, and I had certain views about the rights of the people. How do I reconcile my political belief to the needs of my village folks?

It was a dilemma to me that remains unresolved till today. Perhaps I should have changed my voting constituency this time around, but I didn’t. As of now, I’m still undecided as to whether I should go back to exercise my ‘right’.